Don’t bugs HURT? And other random gross facts about being a biker
When I picture being a biker chick, I think of sunshine, loud music, the constant purrrrrrr of my pipes, and endless destinations. But its not always that perfect. Here’s a look at a few of the gross-er sides of being a biker, in no particular order!
Birds. Birds and strong forces of wind are a bad combo. Add in a motorcycle also flying through their path, and now its a matter of sheer will of the bird not to die and of me not wanting to hit a bird, especially with any body part. Bugs hurt. Birds leave a much bigger mark. I have only hit one with my body while going down the road, and it was a near miss, so my helmet took the brunt of it and the force wasn’t too scary. But I swear birds see me coming and have a target out for me. They are constantly flying at me on purpose, then at the last possible moment, they swoop upwards. Sometimes, they do it on purpose. Other times I know it wasn’t on purpose because they poop on me instead, out of fear of nearly dying, I would imagine.
Rain- You'd think that rain would CLEAN the bike.. but it does the total opposite. And sometimes it hurts. And I never get my rain gear on BEFORE it starts raining.. because I always think that if I 'WILL' the rain away, "it will stay away". I clearly don't have that kind of superpower. So by the time I pull off the road, I am already wet. And being wet makes putting on rain gear a struggle. Think of trying to pull a pair of too-tight jeans over your body when you get out of the shower and don't dry off all the way. Yep, it's that level of struggle. Not to mention, rain gear is FAR from a fashion statement!
Once I finally get all the gear on and get back on the road, now vehicles are spraying me with rainwater... mixed with oil and dirt and grime that is being 'cleaned' from the road and subsequently worn on my face.
So at the end of a long ride, I usually kick my gear off in the garage, to keep the ISH out of the house, and head straight for the shower. And even that is disturbing... especially hotel showers. Because hotels usually only have WHITE washcloths and towels. And I don't care how much soap is used, that poor washcloth never does look white again. And after a shower, I clean my ears. To think of ALL of THAT stuff getting into my ear - which would require it to sneak behind my helmet..... leads me to wonder what my lungs look like at the end of the day!!!
All of these things are fairly disgusting.. but TOTALLY worth every mile!!!