Lake of the Ozarks #MERICA weekend


Bestie weekend at Lake of the Ozarks!!! We have gone to Apple River every year for the past few and decided our livers and minds needed something different. Our friends at Apple River are all of 22-26 years old, so us 'geezers' kept up damn well over the years!




We just need a break from that escapade, and since Bestie has her MC license and a bike this year - we must roam! Kept an eye on the weather across the states before determining where we would go. I wanted twisty roads, bestie wanted a party at the end. Googled "Party lakes" and bam! There sat a photo of our soon to be destination. Lake of the Ozarks in central/southish MO. Weather:  80-95 degrees and sun. Perfect! Party zone? Check. Sunshine and heat? Check!

Two besties getting out of state. WAY out of state. Unsupervised. YAY!!!!!



This is bestie's first big trip and she has new luggage for packing. We were both running late to meet and get on the road. For a Friday of 4th of July weekend, we were hoping for a reasonably early-ish start (aka before noon). Shit happens, and we met in the south metro around 3p. A quick stop at the local bike dealer to say hi to the guy who sold me the bike 2 years ago, oh and to get a couple of bolts fixed on besties bike to secure her luggage, and we are off! When we went to stop at the dealer  I told bestie "I hope they don't have any white victory's in stock or I might be in trouble." Walk in the front door, look right, and BAM! Three of them sitting there! Upon closer inspection, two were Magnums (nope) and the white one was pearl white. I want Flat White. WHEW! That saved me roughly $15k.


Leaving the metro after noon on a warm sunny Friday = horrendous traffic. So leaving around 3pm I thought for sure we would be screwed. We were pleasantly surprised though - traffic was heavy, but moving, thankfully! First stop at Diamond Jo's for gas and a stretch in IA.Then onward to even warmer weather!

Bestie selfie somewhere in IA!

 We stopped for the first night is Ottomwa (I think) IA. We found an old school hotel with character in the downtown area. It took seemingly forever to check into the hotel because the guy in front of us in line was IRATE that the cable TV was down due to a major car accident today. He was pissing and moaning about not being able to watch TV, making the poor front desk girl call hotels in the area to ask if they had cable, beacuse he 'was going to die' if he didnt have cable 'all night'. He foolishly turned ot ask us if we knew they didnt have cable. He was asking two besties who have the attention span of a squirrel - and who rarely watch TV at all, let alone cable (OK, I dont have cable.. but I do have one up from bunny ears..). When bestie said we didnt care, he about dropped over dead. He then went on and on about how he cant sleep at night and needs to have something to do and if there wasnt cable he wouldnt be able to sleep there. Good riddance buddy... we just want to check in and eat and drink and be merry. Anyways, the first room we checked into reeked of smoke something fierce. And there was no option to open the window as an AC unit was securley plopped into said window opening. I dont have the best nose in the world, but I could def smell the smoke at first. Then it sort of dulled down. Until we left the room and walked back in. We went downstairs to ask for a new room, whcih the chick gave us. We swapped rooms, this one being MUCH better and bigger, which was a okw ith us! Conveniently located in the hotel was a bar. With cheap ass drinks and food just waiting for us !  Cool decor in the joint too...




We drank a few, then walked outside and when we looked up the street there was a super cool looking city park area and church steeple so naturally, curiousity got us and off we wandered. Took some pics, scoped out the sights, and then started jogging. Because the sprinklers turned on as we were about to walk back through the city park to the hotel!  

A creepy situation ensued in the elevator back upstairs sometime after bar time.  There was what appeared to be a 'bloody' message in the elevator.. with a white towel/rag outside the elevator door, which also had what appeared to be blood on it. Near the staircase entrance. We both looked at each other with slight fear in our eyes, not really sure what to think or say. Do we get in the elevator again? Do we take the stairs?! Never saw a body, thankfully..... 
Bestie and I were rockin our MERICA shirts the whole weekend - Cheers to DFD crew!!!!
 

The hotel had a buffet breakfast that we hit up in the morning before rolling south. The trip south was a mix of straight roads and twisty roads. We hit a couple of road construction spots, one of which naturally had that loose gravel crap on it, right when the corners were starting. There was not a lot to look at on the drive... not a lot of gas stations to pee at either. I went to pass roadkill, when it suddenly started moving and scared the SHIT out of me.. BEAVER on the loose!   

Then, in THE middle of nowhere, we found Missouri!!!!!!!  #Merica!




Awhile later, we stopped in (?) town at a ghetto looking gas station - tired, hot, and bored from the riding. There was a tow truck at the pump we stopped at and the driver instantly perked up our day. His first words were "Just so y'all know, if you wanna put those bikes in my shop and ride around with me to change tires (in the tow tryuck) I have space for you both". Usually this type of comment would instantly creep us out, but he was genuine and funny and a much needed comic relief for the day. He went on and on and while we apprecaited the offer, our bikes cannot trailer or garage it! 

Mid Ride South bound!
 
I/we wanted a Snickers ice cream bar something fierce, which the first gas station didnt have. So we crossed the road and found their ice cream freezer 100% empty. Sad day. While wiating in line for the bathroom, there was a group fo older gentle man talking about the weather. They asked where we are from and then acted surprised and asked if we hit 'the weather'. Negative. It was hella windy, but nothing terrible. Turns out there was a twister nearby and that resulted in a massive power outage for nearly 36 hours = no ice cream to be had in the town. It was either an EF1 or EF2 system - as we crossed over a couple of rivers earlier (I think, could have been later...) in the day, we saw the devastation, flooded buildings and campgrounds, and roofs of buildings which were not supposed to be under water due to massive flooding of the Roaring River a week prior.  It was kind of creepy. 



That was really the only semi ick weather we hit - sprinkles, but it was warm, so no complaints. Then, SUNSHINE!!!!

I HEART sunshine, heat, and my motorcycle!!! 










We made it to Lake of the Ozarks area and were so ready to be done riding! We were ready for a drink and relaxing in the AC for a bit as its been a hella hot day!  

This lake is AWESOME!!!!!!!            ------------>






We checked into our cute cow theme mom and pop motel (Town & Country Motel), found the ice machine, and relaxed for a bit. Then we researched a plan and talked with the locals for ideas on where to go.



Then, game on. #Merica called
We walked down to Wet Willies per recommendation of the local(s). It was DEAD. Aka there were two bartenders/workers, and one either worker off the clock or regular. We asked where to go and they all but laughed at us. We got some ideas from them after prying info out.. and then they were closing. They did give us 'to go' cups, which was nice of them! We sat outside on the patio for awhile bs'ing and then walked back to the hotel. Decided to make it an 'early' (2:30am) night...

Kind of slept in in the morning, hit up the ocntinental breakfast (use that term loosely), then planned our day. We took an Uber to Dog Days bar - it was ON the Lake of the Ozarks and when we got there, holy crap!! Turns out, the bar had a POOL!!! Not just a pool, but a swim up bar pool, with bar tables in the middle of the pool and a seperate pool for kids. HEAVEN!  We had every intention of eating right when we got to the bar. But, then we became quickly distracted, hit the pool... and well... the rest is history.


Not my pic, but to my credit I didnt take my phone out while in the water!`


Their advertising photo - 100% accurate!!! Check out the POOL!!!!
We wandered around briefly before finding a table in which the corner was not being used, so we asked if it was cool to set drinks there, and quickly had new friends. New friends who were kind of 'big deals' in the area. One was a politician and one a lobbyist, and I cant remember the other two. But, they were super nice, fascinated by the fact we each rode a motorcycle there in under 24 hours, and next thing we know, we have a history lesson of the area, shots, shots, shots, and more shots flowing freely, and everytime (3) that we tried to order a round, someoone beat us to it and there were drinks everywhere. I am not sure what happened to the day. We intended on eating, then renting a paddleboat. We were shot down immediately on the paddle boat with the gal saying no one rents them this weekend due to the high volume of boating traffic. Pssh. We are from MN! We can swim! Nope. Not happening. We mention this to the folks we met (our new friends) and they invited us out into their boat - heck yeah! So, after several more drinks, who knows how many shots, and after paying our THIRTEEN dollar tab (for 4-6+ hours of drinking.....), we hustled out onto th docks and hitched a ride on our new friends ginormous pontoon boat.



They took us to Party Cove - which is similar to the Big Island on Minnetonka - a drunk person shit show. It gets a little blurry, but the boat ride was cool!

We then went back to the new friends condo where they offered dinner.  Mind you, these folks have their own boat slip, a condo ON the water, and its bigger than my house. For real. Fancy stuff. And, SUPER nice people! 


We said no, but they insisted, as we must have mentioned the fact of us planning on eating several hours prior but getting distracted. Next thing you know, we are at a super fancy condo building on the lake, with a deck on water, drinks in hand, and a super awesome dinner of pork chops, twice baked potatoes, and the works. Popcorn would have sufficed us, but heck, this was amazing!!!!!  


Watched the sunset at a lake front condo while eating a gourmet meal (thick cut chops, twice baked potatoes, the damnworks!!!)











Another one of our new friends friends came by, who happened to be the local AC guy. And by the local AC guy, I mean, THE AC guy. He decided we needed a tour of the town and took us to another bar on the water - which would have been fun aside from the fact that he was there and awkwardly hovering nearby. We had a drink there and got dropped off at our hotel.



I needed a nap. Its been a really long day!!! Bestie was wide awake and in her prime, so I took a 20-30 min nap (I think) and when I woke up, I could hear her outside talking to someone on the phoen. So I took my phone out and then Bridesmaids popped into my head and I couldnt stop laughing. I dont know why. So I watched some clips of the movie, apaprently got a second wind, and started playing "I'm RREEAADDDDDYYYYY... to PPPAARRRTTYYYY..." Wit the best of them, while holding the phone, doing a nazi march, and clapping as the line started, and while opening the hotel door to go outside to sing the diddy to bestie.


Mind you, its 10:30pm, maybe 11pm, and this is round 2. So we laughed until we couldnt... cracked a drink, and grabbed another Uber to return to Dog Days bar, round 2.Sure enough, as soon as we got dropped off, we went to grab a drink and BAM. They are closing. What?! On a holiday weekend? Boo. We started asked locals/whoever was there what they do now that this place is closing. Naturally, we found our way to an after bar party. Where, you might ask? Oh, the SAME condo building across the lake aways as we were earlier today. What are the odds? There must be 10,000 condos in a 20 mile radius and there we were, rolling into the SAME one. Not only that, but we were only a few doors down and 2 floors up from the condo we were at earlier. So we start laughing, then say why... sure enough, the kats we were now with also know the folks we were with earlier. What are the odds.   We roll into condo #2 and are greeted by a counter of festive spirits awaiting us. Sorry mom and dad, we know this is not the best and wisest idea we have ever had, but we had a safety plan and made our own drinks ;)  A 98 mile shoreline lake and we find ourselves in the same condo and building Celebrating Mercia til the WEE hours.  Like champs.







We caught a ride home at who knows what time and were beat up and wiped out from a solid day of drinking and shenanigans and FUN!!!!!!!!! 

Woke up the next day and really really really wanted to stay another day, to lay by the pool and chill. But, we didnt want to push our luck as we were running on minimal sleep, not enough water, too much festivities/drinks and it was literally 100 degrees out with zero breeze. So we packed up the bikes... sweating profusely while doing so and taking frequent breaks... Got the bikes loaded and went literally 6 blocks to stop for gas and gas. Aka water, powerade, food.... all of the above. We were not doing well. But, we had to endure. So, after a long stop to try to refuel our bodies a bit, we headed out. North bound.

We took a few fun roads, but mostly geared towards getting back to MN. What should have taken us 6ish hours, took far longer due to our sad state of affairs. But, on the plus side, we had lots of extra money in our pockets we didnt intend on having by this point in the trip!!!

We made it to Kirskville MO. I hate that road, that area, that town. Its just after Macon MO. Which I have now been in 2x this year already. So we find a hotel in Kirksville and quickly realize, this is not the Taj Mahal of hotels. This isnt even the Motel 6. Its more like a Motel 0.5. Too late, we booked it, we were tired, we needed food, and we were done riding. Judging by the vehicles in the parking lot, folks here either a) live in their vehicles part time b) havent quite moved from vehicle into hotel room c) live in the hotel. We unlaoded the bikes and locked them up, then walked to downtown for eats and drinks. We continued to realize the sketchyness of the area we were in. Not only by the discount smoke shop next door with bars on the windows, but the seemingly homeless shelter we were staying in/PO housing, and the weird looks we were getting. Whatever. Happy to 'look' like bikers at this point aka 'badass' when really, we just wanted to eat, shower, and go to sleep. We hoofed it back to the hotel after eating, it was a little over a mile. We were each in possession of safety items..... and totally aware of everything around us. Was an uneventfl walk home. We crashed after showering in the 1970's motel room complete with vinvyl words on the walls.....







I slept, the bestie did not have such good luck.We woke in the morning and hit the road. Super happy to make it back to MN and out of the sunshine and heat (I will rarely admit this...)!







Made it back to MN and happy to report we SURVIVED the bestie weekend on the Lake and are already talking about 'when we return' to see what other michief and shenanigans we can get into ;)



Pretty much our weekend:
 

 TRUE story ALL day!










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